When you become lost

There is so much information available to us today. Facts and opinions, trends and data sets, paths and experiences laid out by others that are so tempting to follow. It’s easy to become overwhelmed or even lost.

Both in writing and RL, I’ve been digging my way deeper and deeper into rabbit holes of information without realizing how far away from my light-source, my center, it was taking me. For my personal overall health and happiness, it is of utmost importance that I get that light to shine on my writer’s heart as quickly and purely as possible. (Somewhere, a chorus of my loved ones are screaming, “Finally!!!” <3 ).

I’ve been taking steps. The first was this…

I talked to my newsletter readers about how therapeutic it was to put these “couple covers” back on my Department of Homeworld Security series, and the response from them has been amazing <3

Earlier this year, I had created what I call “the torso covers” for this series, trying to match what was trending. The idea was to model what I was doing on other successful writers, following in their footsteps.

But my books aren’t like any of those series. On top of that, the torso covers bothered me. They weren’t right for the series or for me. I learned a great deal from that experience, the main thing being to listen to my spirit above all else.

I have dreams and I have goals. But the path I take to reach them must support my soul. It can’t go against who I am at my core. If it takes me longer to reach those dreams and goals, so be it.

As I continue my progress in rediscovering the soul-path of my writing (and life in general), I’m being much more careful about what data I value, what advice I keep, and what I let into my mind and heart. The most important litmus test for whether I keep the information I’ve been studying or step away from that particular path is, “Does this help my writing flow or does it stop me in my tracks?”

There have been a lot of things stopping me from writing this year. Second-guessing and “should’s” standing like dams in front of the stories of my heart. As part of my healing, I went back to a story I had outlined last year, but decided to walk away from.

The ninth Department of Homeworld Security novella.

I had always, always, always, planned on writing at least nine of these stories. Three series arcs or themes explored in three novellas. The last three were supposed to be my take on “little green men (and women)”.

I walked away from that ninth novella (and the hope of writing more in this series) because I thought it was something I should do for my writing career. Now I understand that my writing career can never be more important than my actual writing. My writing is much too important to me for that.

I wish it hadn’t taken me so long to realize this, and I know it’s going to take me a while before I’m back to where I want to be. But the good news is, I’m already making progress and the story is actually almost done!

Writing it has felt like learning to walk again. I’m picking up things I had left by the wayside without ever intending to—drafts of blog posts I never published, projects that support my writing and my life through the sheer creative joy of making them.

Going forward, I’m doing my best to be gentle with myself. To not judge or regret. I had reasons for every choice I made and gained knowledge and experience that I’ll use to help myself and others in the future. But the most important thing is to keep going forward, to keep writing, dreaming, and creating.

I firmly believe that is why I am here. That is my path. I’m ready to walk it.