“I am so grateful.”

In my meditation recently, a new mantra spontaneously unfolded. It was beautiful and powerful and I think it can help other people, so I’m sharing it here.

BarleyField

I’m focusing quite a bit on health and healing right now in my life. I thought about my progress, and immediately followed with “I am so grateful.” Then I thought about another positive healing experience a loved one had shared, and again, “I am so grateful” popped into my head.

I’ve done gratitude meditations before and even kept a gratitude journal for a while, but they always felt like exercises that I couldn’t connect to on the level I sought. This spontaneous reminder from my subconscious resonated in me like the sounding of a tuning fork. I felt the vibrations of it soul-deep.

Thinking about it more, I’m wondering if the earlier meditations didn’t work because the way the sentiments were phrased made it sound like a trade-off. It was more like, “I’m healing, so I am grateful.” As if the feeling of gratitude is dependent on whatever circumstance I was focusing on. No wonder I didn’t connect with those exercises.

I do believe our circumstances feed into our feelings, thoughts, and states of being. But I also believe that we can rise above our circumstances and choose how we want to feel and who we want to be. I’ve been sliding into reactionary behaviors, and that’s been leading me down a path to a life I don’t want to live and a self that I don’t want to be.

I am, by nature, intrinsically grateful, playful, enthusiastic, whimsical, and creative. My circumstances shouldn’t be able to alter that. I refuse to let them.

There is so much in life to remind me of the state of gratitude I wish to live in. That state isn’t dependent on those reminders. It’s always there, if only I open myself to it.

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